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More on Daddy

This is a lengthy one but please bear with me & share if you are lead to. Most days I'm totally fine in terms of the passing of my Daddy, but every now & then I'm not all the way OK. Today is a mixed day – I'm fine but missing him. I wanted to share something very personal to explain why I go through it still, in terms of missing my Daddy. When I was five years old a neighbor (their older teenage son) exposed himself to me & a few other children (I think 3-4 children). He sexually assaulted me (no penetration). That traumatic incident has been replayed in the back of my mind since then. It was always mentally "laying back in the cut", as is colloquially expressed where I'm from. I was so young but I remember it. It was so pressing in my memory that a year before my Daddy died, when I was 31 years old, I asked him,"Daddy, was I sexually exposed to/assaulted by an older teen neighbor from that green house two doors down? I think I was. The memories are there but I don't know if it's true because I was so very young & I've just been through so much Dad. Is this true, or is this my subconscious mind making this up? I just don't know but it has been in the back of my mind since then. It won't go away." That's how vague and yet vivid a memory this trauma was to me…

Dad hesitated. I'm jumping ahead a bit but I think he was stunned that I remembered on some level. He paused, then said, "Yes, that did happen to you. You aren't imagining it. You were so young, I thought you wouldn't remember & would be OK," He stopped after that. I think he re-experienced guilt. I knew then that my early trauma was responsible for my behavior with he & my brother for quite some time. I feel so bad saying this still, but for years I showed my Daddy & my brother no physical affection. I just couldn't bear to touch them with hugs or kisses. I thought that if I touched them physically with affection, they'd misinterpret it somehow for something it wasn't. I thought they'd turn on me & assault me sexually some way. I didn't want to do anything that could possibly blur the lines of father/daughter & brother/sister. They were the men in my life. Everyday. My Dad would talk to me about my lack of affection over the years – spiritually. He tried to coach me about it. He didn't realize that I needed professional help too. This was the 80's & 90's. As an adult, when I finally talked to a professional about it, I was so terrified that she'd think that my Dad, or brother abused me. I kept reassuring her that that's NOT what happened, nor why I was sitting in her chair for a $10 copayment per visit. She calmed me down. She believed me. The healing process began. After he died, I told you all already about me kissing his forehead. I said it had already grown cold. What I didn't tell you all is that this was the first time I kissed my Daddy since I was 5 years old. I had hugged him though. Baby steps. I used to be jealous of my sister because she had such a wonderful bond with Daddy, filled with the hugs & kisses of affection with both of my parents. I was inhibited. It was super easy for her. And my brother. I was the "trouble-maker"…

Sometimes, I wish I would have asked him more questions. I only wanted to know if what I remembered was real. No details to enlighten my trauma. Blurry revelation. I'm sharing all of this with you all to say…please watch over & talk to your children. Please. I was violated on our side of the white fence which separated the immediate neighbor. The perv lived next door to them on the other side. Please do not message me to ask me why I shared such personal details of my life. Or worse, do not instruct me not to. I'm of the belief, that God does not allow us to endure struggles to keep them to ourselves. Therefore, there are aspects of my life that I will freely share to potentially help someone else. That's my free choice. There will be those of you who have & will urge me not to share for free. Hmm. I'm not the type of person who peddles the wares of my deepest struggles for $$$. I'm also not knocking those who do. Jesus didn't charge me for seeing me through said struggles. Everyone else, be blessed & have a wonderful day. I sure am with my Mom, sister & brother by my side.

 
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Posted by on July 23, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Being A Constitutionalist

Greetings All,

I wanted to share my thoughts today on what being a constitutionalist means to me, and why that means more to me than party affiliation, or any other political boxes I can check:

Folks, I am a constitutionalist before I am anything else. This allows me, to have political allies from all walks of life, as long as we can agree that the law of the land must be adhered to, as well as the legal blueprint for amending it. This doesn't mean the law is without imperfections, nor are those who created it. The same is true for those whose job it is to defend it. We're all inherently, flawed human beings. We make mistakes, and we must correct them legally as a society at times. History is replete with major and minor instances of this. This is why I consider Americans, who readily accept political legerdemain, used to circumvent legal procedures when it suits their interests, the most unpatriotic citizens there are.

As for me, I've accepted the inevitable reality, that putting my own personal agendas and biases aside, and honoring the constitution, means there will be things I am opposed to, but must allow to legally stand. That is, if my arguments to the contrary are not legally strong enough, to influence a different outcome. I really wish more Americans would follow suit. It's such a relaxing political place to be…

Until next musing,

Talitha McEachin

 
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Posted by on July 19, 2017 in Philosophy, Politics, Society, Uncategorized

 

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The “Obamaphone” Nonsense

The “Obamaphone” Nonsense

So recently, I retracted a prior criticism of former POTUS Barack Obama – the whole “food stamp president” nonsense. While this post isn’t a retraction, I want to share my thoughts on another erroneous label affixed to him – the infamous “Obamaphone”. The ironic thing about this, is that it’s origins are rooted back to 1984 when some Americans were still in “Will we ever see a black president?” mode. A “Barack Obama” if you will, was still a dream. 1984? Yep. When Ronald Reagan was president. Some even argue that it goes back as far as Roosevelt, but I digress. That year, the FCC created the Lifeline Assistance program. That’s the actual name of the “Obamaphone” program, technically. 

Obviously, cellular phones weren’t ubiquitous as they are now, in 1984, which is why the program provided free landline phone service, mainly to senior citizens. Interestingly enough, after eight years of the Obamaphone misnomer, so many remain ignorant of its history.  Am I the only one who’s never heard of an “Reaganphone”? What about a “Bushphone”? “Clintonphone” perhaps? What about a “Trumpphone”? (that sounds like the world’s worst megaphone ever). You haven’t because they were never labeled as such, even though the program existed in every presidency since Reagan. In fact, Safelink Wireless offered the first such cellular (keyword alert!) phone service in Tennessee in 2008, near the end of Bush’s second term. Barack Obama wasn’t elected until November of 2008. The program started three months earlier. 

There are some very, obvious motives and suspicious undertones, if I’m polite, associated with slapping this erroneous, derogatory misnomer onto the first black president, and literally none of his predecessors, but for now I’m not gonna go there (Hmm, no pun intended, but, did I just do that?). Now to be fair, the number of participants in the program, did increase significantly under the Obama administration, but that’s to be expected, with the expansion of any government program to assist the destitute in a recession. It’s a domino effect. If you had no problem with the program under Reagan, both Bush’s or Clinton, it’s simply hypocritical to have whined about it for the last eight years under Obama. I’ll be discussing three more things, I, and/or my political “macro tribe” got wrong, or, that were generally misunderstood or wrong when it comes to Obama. Then I’ll balance it by discussing the same number of things I stand by firmly, as far as my criticism of his presidency goes. Stay with me folks, this is about to get really interesting…

 
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Posted by on July 7, 2017 in Politics, Society, Uncategorized

 

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I Was Wrong about Obama

Greetings friends!

I’m back with my latest musing, on why I was wrong about a prior criticism of former president Obama’s 2009 economic stimulus package. As a Republican and Conservative libertarian, I have to work harder at objectivity when assessing his successes and failures. My missive here is to share one of his successes, which I erroneously deemed a failure:

After researching certain aspects of Obama’s 2009 economic stimulus package, I now see the labeling of him as the “food stamp president” quite differently. I haven’t written about it in a while, but I think a prior criticism I hurled his way was wrong. I didn’t agree with people calling him the “FSP” – I stand by that, but I understood why many called him that. Some attributed it to racism, and I’m sure that’s true for some percentage of his opponents, but certainly not all. I refuse to entertain the notion that all, or most Republicans are racists. It’s a stereotype, and I don’t play those games. In his economic stimulus, he expunged the work requirements, making the SNAP/FS program more accessible to Americans in need. We were in a recession, people were out of work and losing their homes. Many who had never received any government aid, found themselves swallowing their pride to feed their children. Most had at least one job, but simply didn’t make enough to make ends meet. It’s still true today that most SNAP recipients are working.

Barack Obama helped millions defray their cost of living by putting food on their tables. In other words, the criticism was that under his presidency, the highest number of people were food stamp recipients, due to the economic crisis. While there’s some truth to that, it’s a bit misleading for me and others (like Newt Gingrich), to assert, that he was responsible for the economic crisis, therefore forcing people on the SNAP program. That’s a faulty cause and effect. No, he recognized the crisis we were in, cause notwithstanding, and deliberately (key word) expanded the program, so millions could eat. The trade off was that the number of recipients under his watch soared. He deliberately took that hit on his economic report card. You don’t have to be a member of MENSA to understand, that loosening rigid requirements means more qualified applicants. You may not agree with his solution, and that’s your prerogative, but it was his solution, in his best judgment. The ends justified the means to him. That’s the job America hired him to do. If you want me to believe, that a Harvard educated attorney and former Senator couldn’t foresee, that the number of recipients would increase after removing work requirements, you may as well be asking me to believe in five-legged unicorns. Believing that is also an attack on his intelligence, and mine. You’d also have to ignore the trillions in debt, created by Bush before him. 

Some will argue that his motive was to increase government dependency – one rung on the ladder of socialism. The problem lies in the fact that it never happened. We aren’t a socialist nation. If I’m wrong and that was his goal, he failed utterly, so it doesn’t matter anyway. There will be criticisms of him that I’ll stand by, but this isn’t one of them. I’m humble enough to retract this view. Of course, there’s a valid counter argument to this reassessment that isn’t lost on me. Once the economy improved and the recession ended (2012), the number of SNAP recipients should have done down. That didn’t happen. The question is why, but that’s a lateral issue, one that’s unrelated to the “food stamp president” label. That’s also another musing.  I’m reassessing my view of his presidency, before writing a critical essay on his legacy. In order to fairly assess his presidency, you have to look beyond the numbers. There’s a lot of gray area. You have to dig deeper. Fair is fair, and this is one view that I’m totally comfortable with amending.

Until next musing,

Talitha K. McEachin

 
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Posted by on July 5, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Tomorrow…

Greeting friends!

Happy Independance day to you all. As you celebrate with family, friends, fireworks & barbecue, here are my thoughts & memories of what this day means to me:

Yesterday was the anniversary of my Dad’s passing and I was totally fine. He’s been gone several years now. Today I remembered us rushing to the hospital, and the coroner literally waiting right near the front door to take his body. The nurse who called us kept her word, that they’d wait until we got there to see him, before letting them take his body. I remember being hit with the reality of his death when I kissed his forehead. It had already grown cold. I knew then – he’s really gone. This is just a shell before me. I smiled and cried at the same time. My sister’s wedding was in two weeks and she had to face the reality, that he wouldn’t be there to walk her down the aisle. She wasn’t going to have the father/daughter dance she had planned. My brother was the last one to see him alive. “Lance, I’m going for a walk. I won’t be long. I’ll see you when I get back,” he said. Those were his last words, except whatever sweet utterances he whispered in the ears of Christ, with his arms outstretched, upward bound. Though they’d been divorced, and amicably so, for several years, I saw my Mom cry for the first time in my life. As the eldest child, I knew that I had to be there for my family, and we had to plan a funeral. My grief would have to wait. I held it in so tightly that my pain manifested physically in the place of its emotional twin. A sudden, severe toothache sent me to the dentist the next morning. My blood pressure was sky high. My pain was going to be released one way or another…

We got in the car to leave and the phone started ringing. His corneas were to be donated to a recipient in need. He had agreed to this on his license and they were the only thing they could take from a 61 year old man with heart disease. Informing us was just a formality. Then we had the heart-wrenching task of informing family and friends. He wasn’t ill, his death was sudden. But what I remember most and first, is going to his home, looking in the refrigerator and seeing chicken already seasoned, ready for the grill – it was for tomorrow. Tomorrow. It’s not promised to any of us. We make plans, but God is in control. The next day was the 4th of July. He was a veteran (USAF) and very patriotic. This makes me a bit sad, until I remember his destination. He was a Christian and very keenly understood what that meant. He made sure my siblings and I understood it too. Often he would pray and ask God to spare him the pain of ever having to bury a child. God granted him that. Knowing he’d transition first, he spoke of wanting to see his three children again in Heaven. That’s up to us. He and my mother have done their part. Ironically, it was he who told me that I should become a writer, or a lawyer. At the time I scoffed at the idea that I should write, or argue for a living. I wanted to become a research scientist. Hmm. Now I’m a writer and I argue all the time. I’m thankful to God for you Daddy. We miss and love you. There has never been a day that has passed by when you weren’t in my thoughts. In a world in which so many don’t know, or don’t have their fathers in their lives, I’m so happy and blessed to not know what that feels like.

Until next musing,

Talitha K. McEachin

 
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Posted by on July 4, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Law of the Land, Blame the Victim & Just Print More Money

Greetings Friends,

It is my hope & prayer that each of you are well & prosperous. As promised, each week I’ll share my popular posts from social media. This will give me more time to devote to creative writing. Here are this week’s musings:

Law of the Land

People who want universal healthcare, or to keep Obamacare, without amending the constitution are interesting, if I’m polite. The federal government doesn’t have the constitutional authority to regulate healthcare – it just isn’t in the supreme law of the land. That’s the basis for the 2012 SCOTUS ruling, which declared Obamacare a tax, instead of a mandate. Like it or not, this is the same reason that DOMA had to be expunged. Once again, the federal government has no constitutional authority to define marriage. Obamacare rests on the shoulders of the commerce clause now. The ruling also paved the way for the crowning of the IRS as healthcare king, and is a convenient subterfuge, to protect the ACA against potential, future charges of unconstitutionality. It’s one of the most egregious instances of federal government legerdemain and intrusion. If as a nation, we have to continuously create ways to circumvent the law to appease societal whims, its nothing more than a symbolic combination of dead trees, ink & binding of the past. Some of you should stop clapping. You’re confused. That’s not a cause for celebration.

Blame the Victim

Those who are demonizing Timothy Caughman, the 66 year old black man murdered by James Jackson, a staunch racist, have little to no humanity in them. Folks are bringing up past, negative things about the victim, as if that justifies his murder in any way. They’re also ignoring his positive contributions to his community, but I digress a little. Y’all are sick. Some of the same folks, who are against abortion, because it’s “murder” (and I agree, its legal infanticide), think this man’s life was worth taking, or better stated, it’s worthless.  It’s ridiculous! Besides that, this murder was premeditated, though not specified. The victim was in the wrong place, at the wrong time unfortunately. The racist thug, who knew nothing of Caughman’s past, drove to New York to kill a random black man to send the message of white superiority, and some of y’all are throwing the victim, who had done nothing to this thug, under the bus? Huh? Who does that? #AllLivesMatter crew, where ya’ll at?

Just Print More Money

Excuse my candor, but if your solution to our collective, fiscal woes involves “just printing more money”, you should not participate in discussions of the economy with anyone, other than to listen only. Just sit there and soak it in, and take notes. Those who present & ask me to accept the “print more money” argument, are ya’ll OK? You’re asking me to buy a cup that has the bottom removed, and believe it won’t leak. I don’t mean to be harsh, but this is very, basic, high school level economics. Printing more money & putting it in circulation, without removing an equal amount of old bills devalues the dollar. Folks, this ain’t quantum physics. Even if you don’t understand your error, please don’t say that aloud. I’m embarrassed for you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! We can’t just print more money people. Stop saying that, it’s ignant’.
Until next musing,

Talitha K. McEachin

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Day 2: Obama’s Successes & FailuresĀ 

Greetings Friends! Here is Barack Obama’s Successes & Failures:

Day 2:

Success: His diplomacy with Cuba. His efforts there ended the American embargo that was imposed many decades ago. This is historically significant. One of the ways Castro held onto the reins of power so long, is by blaming the suffering of Cubans on the American embargo. This is probably the longest running shift the blame game in modern history. The Cuban people suffered from being repeatedly smitten by Castro’s’ iron fist – that’s not on us. The increase in tourism will also help the Cuban #economy, but more importantly, our proximity to Cuba is reason enough for both countries to play nice. Obama led this charge – one of his finer moments as commander in chief. I don’t even smoke, but I just might buy one of those cigars Cuba is so well known for just for the heck of it.

Failure: He was unable to keep his promise to close Guantanamo Bay in Cuba. I know most Republicans are opposed to this, with exceptions including John McCain, but I’m not jumping on that right-wing bandwagon. 

From CNN:

“The reasons that Congress is wrong on this issue are well-known: From a security perspective, it is a rallying cry for our enemies, a recruitment tool for terrorists and an embarrassment of our ideals. From a fiscal perspective it makes no sense — it is egregiously expensive,” 

My only addition to this, is that imprisoning detainees indefinitely without a trial, or irrefutable proof of guilt, is a human rights issue for me. To be fair, he has decreased the number of detainees, but that’s not what he promised us. This is a failure of epic proportions. It’s also unAmerican. 

Until next musing,

Talitha McEachin

 
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Posted by on February 16, 2017 in Uncategorized

 
 
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