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Tomorrow…

Greeting friends!

Happy Independance day to you all. As you celebrate with family, friends, fireworks & barbecue, here are my thoughts & memories of what this day means to me:

Yesterday was the anniversary of my Dad’s passing and I was totally fine. He’s been gone several years now. Today I remembered us rushing to the hospital, and the coroner literally waiting right near the front door to take his body. The nurse who called us kept her word, that they’d wait until we got there to see him, before letting them take his body. I remember being hit with the reality of his death when I kissed his forehead. It had already grown cold. I knew then – he’s really gone. This is just a shell before me. I smiled and cried at the same time. My sister’s wedding was in two weeks and she had to face the reality, that he wouldn’t be there to walk her down the aisle. She wasn’t going to have the father/daughter dance she had planned. My brother was the last one to see him alive. “Lance, I’m going for a walk. I won’t be long. I’ll see you when I get back,” he said. Those were his last words, except whatever sweet utterances he whispered in the ears of Christ, with his arms outstretched, upward bound. Though they’d been divorced, and amicably so, for several years, I saw my Mom cry for the first time in my life. As the eldest child, I knew that I had to be there for my family, and we had to plan a funeral. My grief would have to wait. I held it in so tightly that my pain manifested physically in the place of its emotional twin. A sudden, severe toothache sent me to the dentist the next morning. My blood pressure was sky high. My pain was going to be released one way or another…

We got in the car to leave and the phone started ringing. His corneas were to be donated to a recipient in need. He had agreed to this on his license and they were the only thing they could take from a 61 year old man with heart disease. Informing us was just a formality. Then we had the heart-wrenching task of informing family and friends. He wasn’t ill, his death was sudden. But what I remember most and first, is going to his home, looking in the refrigerator and seeing chicken already seasoned, ready for the grill – it was for tomorrow. Tomorrow. It’s not promised to any of us. We make plans, but God is in control. The next day was the 4th of July. He was a veteran (USAF) and very patriotic. This makes me a bit sad, until I remember his destination. He was a Christian and very keenly understood what that meant. He made sure my siblings and I understood it too. Often he would pray and ask God to spare him the pain of ever having to bury a child. God granted him that. Knowing he’d transition first, he spoke of wanting to see his three children again in Heaven. That’s up to us. He and my mother have done their part. Ironically, it was he who told me that I should become a writer, or a lawyer. At the time I scoffed at the idea that I should write, or argue for a living. I wanted to become a research scientist. Hmm. Now I’m a writer and I argue all the time. I’m thankful to God for you Daddy. We miss and love you. There has never been a day that has passed by when you weren’t in my thoughts. In a world in which so many don’t know, or don’t have their fathers in their lives, I’m so happy and blessed to not know what that feels like.

Until next musing,

Talitha K. McEachin

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Father’s Day Introspection…

Consevative Libertarian blogger Talitha McEachin

Consevative Libertarian blogger Talitha McEachin

One of the things I’ve noticed between the two holidays designated to honor parents, is that too many greetings toward men are more often phrased in a condescending way. Each year I see things like “Happy Father’s Day to the men who are taking care of their kids/doing what they are supposed to be doing/sticking around for their kids/not out in the streets/setting an example/not out there making babies everywhere…etc” – In other words it is more often phrased in the form of what a good father is not doing, and I think that’s a sad state of affairs. This is further exacerbated by greetings directed towards women on this day as well. Women aren’t fathers, so I find that especially silly. A woman who wishes mothers a “Happy Father’s Day, diminishes the role of men and in effect, attempts to render the institution gender-neutral – whether deliberately or out of ignorance. Excuse my candor, but being a father requires a penis, and if you were not born with one, you’re incapable of being a father.

I don’t understand why some cannot honor the institution of fatherhood without indirectly (or directly) reflecting father's daynegative images & stereotypes of men. I don’t know about you all, but I had a wonderful father who was very loving, affectionate, wise, a disciplinarian – his good qualities far outweighed any negative ones. I know some of you either didn’t have your Dad in your life or didn’t know him but just once, I wish those individuals would focus on the institution of fatherhood and honor it, instead of keeping the negative father/male images in the forefront of their greetings to men in general & the ones in their lives. After all, those who were not raised by a Dad, should understand (in some ways more) how important the institution of fatherhood is, having had it absent from their lives. I just don’t see this disdain on Mother’s Day, as if all mothers are good ones. Happy Father’s Day to all of the men who are fathers – with no strings attached. I appreciate you. I appreciate the institution of fatherhood. May God Bless you!

Psalm 103:13 
As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.

 
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Posted by on June 16, 2013 in Philosophy, Society

 

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